Experiences in the Peruvian jungle
Simplicity
Otorongo is like an organic being and the opposite of a Buddhist temple, where time is structured up to the minute. Especially in the diet hut, there was nothing I had to do. I could create and spend my time however I wanted. The only structure I had was the morning bath around 6 am and the two meals. These three things served as a flexible reference point for how I wanted to spend the day. After a while, my own schedule and structure crystallized and it seemed that I had created my own sesshin.
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The diet hut
Barefoot and still in my pajamas, my day started with a short walk to the pond of Otorongo.
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Barefoot on my way to the pond
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.Every morning, a heated discussion took place on the top of nearby trees, the home of the very social Baucar weavers. They were frantically flying from treetop to treetop, screeching and screaming, sometimes in a crescendo as if they all agreed on one topic with only one voice expressing a different opinion. It was courting season when I was there. They showed off their artistic nests hanging from the tree branches like woven tubes. The nests on one specific palm tree were especially intriguing. It was a tree putting its entire energy into growing to the light, with only three palm leaves on the top. The two longer ones were totally covered by nests. I called it “Bodhisattva tree”.
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Before washing and swimming, I watched the life around me in the reflection of the calm and black surface of the water. The locals would not swim or even wash in this water – they were afraid of creatures living in this unknown darkness. I loved to look out for turtles rising up from the depth with their golden colored shells due to the minerals in the water. Later in the day they rested on the wooden deck.
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There are at least 30 turtles or more in the little pond. You see the tallest and oldest turtle in the photo above. Many of the turtles were rescued by Dr. Himmelbauer, who bought them at the fish market and rescued them before being killed for food.
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Gateway to the diet hut and spring
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After cleansing my body, I went back to the hut to make the bed, sweep the floor and prepare everything for zazen. The feeling of time changed tremendously during meditation in the jungle, especially in the beginning of my diet. After 15 minutes sitting, I thought that an hour had passed already. During the first days, my breathing was fast and shallow and in the shortest time I was totally wet from sweating. After several days, however, my body adjusted to the food and climate and started to relax. I especially became aware that deep relaxation took place, as I needed to yawn constantly during meditation and tears ran down my cheeks without me being sad.
After meditation, I usually continued with the practice of 108 prostrations. A group of Buddhist friends in Austria started this practice combined with phrases of self-love and self-acceptance (I believe that self-acceptance is one of the major hindrances for the Western mind in developing wisdom and compassion). I brought the phrases with me to integrate it into my daily life in the diet hut. In the beginning of my diet, severe weakness forced me to stop just after 37 prostrations and I immediately was falling into deep sleep when I rested on the bed. At the end of the first week, however, it was not a problem anymore and I added my own phrases which came up during my stay.
Quite often, my practice was interrupted by the delivery of food. Whoever entered the clearing always made a noise to announce the coming. I appreciated this warning very much.
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Milton, one of the workers of Otorongo, was the only person in the camp over the weekend one time and cooked this meal for me – red beet, carrot, potato and two eggs. I was touched by his efforts.
Meals in the morning and afternoon were always the same food. However, the afternoon meal was served cold. The meal consisted mainly of steamed vegetables, rice and sometimes fish. The simplicity of the food reinforced the gratitude I felt for the nourishment of body and soul.
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A cricket landed on the wooden railing
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After eating, I often went outside to read. I brought the translation of Fukanzazengi-no-hanashi by Rosan to refresh the proper pose of zazen. Kaz Tanahashi allowed me to read his latest manuscript about the Indra-net. I brought about five poetry books, my favorite one was the Book of Hours by Rainer Maria Rilke. Often, I recited Rilke’s poems in a loud voice into the jungle, sharing his words with every creature around me.
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Another beautiful creature
Late morning was usually my time of sewing the zagu. Every stitch was accompanied with the words of the three treasures. I felt I was cleansing my mind with this recitation, walking step by step, stitch by stitch, to the completion. I finished the zagu in about 15 days.
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Zagu almost finished
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However, I brought some more white fabric with me just in case I wanted to sew more. At this time, a visitor living in the camp became very ill with pneumonia and Dengue fever. I was told that she was close to death and I decided to sew a cloth for her, using the words “may you become healthy and happy”. Modern medicine and traditional plant medicine helped her to heal. I was very pleased to be able to hand the finished cloth over to her after my diet.
Early afternoon was my time for the jungle walk. “You will soon be like in a trance” Dr. Himmelbauer said to me when he encouraged me to walk in the jungle. It did not happen. Instead, I became more and more sensitive to the world around me. I felt the fine vibrations of the jungle floor whenever I was sitting in the hut. “The floor of the jungle is like a pudding” I was told. The hut standing on stilts was a perfect transmitter of this fine movement. And I was in awe of the beauty of the rain forest, which nourished me like a mother.
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Heavy rain might have killed a big black bug beside my wooden stairs. I honored it by placing the wilted blossoms of my flower bouquet beside it.
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A little red seed on the wilted leaves
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The jungle itself was a wonderful teacher and showed me that life and death are not separate. Every plant in the rainforest depends on the death of other plants, as the soil itself is not nutritious. I could see that clearly in front of my hut were an old, dead tree trunk served as a nourishing ground for young plants.
About 4 pm, I was usually back from my jungle walk to eat my second meal. One time, I needed my medicine box (scratched my foot a little bit), which I had put on my wooden shelf. I did not look at it for two weeks. During this time, maggots found their way inside and ate everything they could. It looked disgusting! Except for the disinfection spray and some pills, I had to throw everything away.
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Medicine bag
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Another time, I watched a butterfly coming into the hut and not finding the way out. It did not realize that it had to fly down first and always tried to escape through the ceiling net. For three days, I watched and tried to help with no avail. Then I had an idea! I took my orange night pot, climbed over the table and bed to rest my one foot on the horizontal wooden wall beam, caught the butterfly and with a swift movement took it down to find its freedom. I was very happy. “The Shipibo Indians would have laughed at you” Dr. Himmelbauer said to me when I told him about it. “This was the fate of the butterfly! It was choosing to be over your bed and probably die there – or not! Only a gringo would do that!” I still was glad that I could help it to survive.
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Butterfly over my bed
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Around 5 pm, I started with Yoga and was very surprised how balanced and flexible my body had become within just a few days of the diet. After Yoga, I prepared for evening zazen, lighting a candle and incense on my altar. Having one single candle to illuminate the darkness around me always filled me with deep gratitude. It is this simplicity which brings richness of life and I really felt it in my little hut.
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Play of light and dark
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Before I went to bed around 7 pm, I brushed my teeth outside on the porch and often took my flashlight with me to illuminate the jungle floor. Hundreds and hundreds of little glittering sapphire points (the bodies of little flies) were scattered on innumerable blades of grass. When the night was clear, Venus appeared over the top of the Humari tree and I was in awe of the beauty on the ground and above.
Every night I was looking forward to crawling into my “bed of heaven” surrounded by the white mosquito net. The night was my time to read. My favorite book was “Inside Vasubandhu’s Yogacara” by Ben Connelly, which I read almost three times. I also had my diary book with pen in my bed to write down my vivid dreams.
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Roots of a Chullachaqui-caspi tree
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Otorongo is a place of “thin air”, a portal between the seen and unseen world. On the last day of my visit, I walked to the Chullachaqui-caspi tree, the home of the Lord of the Forest.
I wanted to give thanks to the jungle for my health, safety and the deep connection I felt. No other place seemed to be more fitting than this special tree. I had seen this tree many times and also did several drawings of it. However, when I stepped in front this time, suddenly a face looked at me from inside the legged tree. It seemed that the Lord of the Forest materialized in order to tell me “I really do exist!”
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